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Smooth Talk, Rough Ride


At any car outlet, besides the car, the chances of you yourself getting taken for a ride by Mr. Slick Salesman are high. And unlike a car, they never run short of gas. Does this sound awfully pessimistic? This unfortunately, is true to a large extent. Its not that Mr. Slick Salesman is out to rip off every customer that comes in. The catch lies in that he doesn’t elaborate on the dreams he sells, because you never asked him to, in the first place! So when reality strikes in the form of inflated bills whose existence you cannot fathom, he’s done his job well. Wisen up with our compilation of what your rosy lipped Slick Salesman soft-peddles to you and what actually the hard sell is.

Smooth Talk (What Slick Sam says) Errr, did I forget to mention this (What he keeps mum about)
 
Interest? It is only 9% That's just the flat rate. The effective interest rate is actually 15% p.a. And again, processing fee is a separate 2% of the loan amount
 
Our EMI is the lowest and its only Rs.3000 per month That's the EMI per month for a Rs 1,00,000 loan. This EMI is also higher for people who are not our previous customers. Likewise, for a Rs. 2,00,000 loan, the EMI is Rs. 6,000. And, the loan is for 60 months
 
We are giving Zero percent interest Some conditions apply and there are rules to disburse the loan. We don't guarantee credit terms and delivery period; have to talk to the financier XYZ who is giving it.
 
Sir, it is 100% financing! Just drive your dream car and pay later. Ummm, the processing fee is around 2% and some installments have to be paid upfront.
 
After showing you a glossy brochure of the car, This dream machine is yours, for only Rs. 4,00,000. Eh! Did I say that. Well, that was the ex-showroom price and it doesnt include octroi, road taxes, registration charges and insurance. Oops, the accessories mentioned here are not part of the standard price. Extra charges apply for those.
 
We are giving you the best price available in the market after the trade-in of your old car Hahaha, you actually subsidized yourself. The low quote on the new car has been adjusted by under-quoting your old car.
 
You think the EMI is too high? I can give you a tailor made, lower EMI wala scheme. You poor sucker. This is a normal Deposit Scheme whereby you pay a deposit of Rs 30,000 upfront. Lower interest on this Deposit subsidizes your EMI payments.
 
You can prepay your amount as and when you get money Hey buster, there is a limit to the amount you can prepay in a year and you will be charged @ 2% on the outstanding loan balances.
 
I am shelling out some commission from my pocket to give you a better deal. Normally you wouldnt get this. Actually its month end. My Boss will take my happiness if I dont achieve my target. And hey, this incentive is sponsored by the manufacturer to promote sales during slack season.
 
I will give Immediate Delivery Forget the test-driving bit. Loads of conditions apply you know.
 
No Documentation required, Sir. How do I say this? I do need your credit card. And I will check your statement through them.
 
Drive in old car and drive out new. But thats valid only for some specific state registrations and on being a single owner having original RC book, accident free old car with comprehensive insurance. There are a lot of other conditions applying too.

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